April 16, 2012

Dear Natdem,

Its 1:43 am Monday and i cant put myself to sleep. Today or a few hours later I will begin to tackle one of the hardest points of my life. This setback has been the hardest for me and i literally cry in depression of the failure i have come to be. I dont know what will happen to me today or the next few days, but one thing is for sure whatever happens later will alter the course of my life significantly. But for now i want to tell you how i feel about us.

Each night as i struggle to bed, I would always remember the first time i heard your voice. You called me and you were having your graduation party off samal. I remember your voice laughing and another lady voice which i would later know to be josel. I would remember looking at your pics at friendster one by one clicking through the graduation pics taken to some pics you took from home. I would remember the first time i held your hands, the first meal we ate together, the first kiss you gave me. Everything with you is first for me, still today there are first things for me with you too. You are my first , my one and only. Nothing has preceded or followed you. I remember how simple our lives were going through the day, dreaming of things, and promising of things. It has been four years that have passed and i hate to say it that some of our dreams did not come true.

I may have failed some of my wishes and desires. I have failed you in so many ways and those things made you upset. But theres one thing i can assure you of, that tonight as i wrote this letter I have always loved you and will always love you. I may have nothing today, and i dont know what ill have tomorow. But I will not hesitate to give you my strength , my time, my effort, and my heart. As flimsy as they sound, they are the only things that I have with me. Im sorry. I love you Natdem and everything about you. I would not have my life any other way. I have realized that because i have lived so much in the future and so eager to live my goals, that four years have passed by through me quickly and i have taken for granted other important things.

I love you so much. Its not because that i have less feelings for you that i do not write anymore, but because I think i have already used up all words to explain and express what i feel for you. Time has been so quick and we are together now for so very long, yet i feel like i have known you yesterday and havent had enough of you. I love you i always will be here for you.

Albert