April 17, 2012

Dear Albert,

It's been almost 48 months since we started this relationship. I'm so happy knowing you for this long. You always have me at my best and worst times. I'm so thankful and forever grateful for knowing you. I read your email and I'm so touched by the words you said. I posted your email message here. Hehehe. And this is a reply regarding that message.

I want you to know that I don't care about our broken dreams and promises. Whether it will come true or not, you are still the one that I love, to whom I will spend the rest of my life and eternity with. I want you to know that even if you fail your law school a million times, I will still be here for you and even if you spend the rest of your 20's in law school, I will still be here for you. I will even wait for another decade of your 30's until such time, the perfect time will come for us to get married.

I told you already that quantity of years spent is useless, it is how we spent it. I'm grateful that we spent 4 years of our lives together, overcoming such trials and downfalls. This is not just the only time we will fail or fall, this is just the first. I want you to know that even if you fall a million times, I will be here for you. Although I cannot afford to catch you because your weight outweighs mine, I will be waiting in the ground lending my hand for you to be able to get up. I will always be here for you, sweetiepie.

Don't worry about our goals and dreams. Being with you and seeing you are already "dreams come true." The happiness I feel every time we're together is the one true goal I been waiting all my life. I am so grateful that for every challenges we faced for the last 48 months, our love grew stronger. I believe that for this trial we are facing today, for this kind of uncertainty of what tomorrow can bring for the both us, is just a consequence that we need to face in order for us to be strong.

Don't lose hope sweetiepie. Our Heavenly Father has molded you into a man that He wants you to be. Just have trust in Him and abide in Him. I know He never left us and He will never leave us. Don't think that life is unfair. He has given much. For me, this relationship alone that we have for 48 months is too much to ask. Just be happy with what you have. Things always happen for a reason. We can overcome this one.

No matter what happen to our tomorrow, my love for you will never falter. It will grow and grow as if I have loved just yesterday. My energy will never stutter, I am always hopeful in achieving our goals and dreams. For me, there are no broken dreams and promises. We just have so little time but so much things to do. Don't worry and don't be weary. If this trial will alter our dreams and goals and will change our lives, I am willing to start with you all over again as long as you are with me, hopeful for tomorrow.

Albert, you are such a wonderful person. I am thankful each and every day for having you in my life in a span of 48 months now. And I'll still be thankful and grateful each and every day even for the next 48 months of my life whether you are already a lawyer at that time or still a law student and whether you are already my husband that time or still my boyfriend. Nothing will change. I love you very much and I am certain that for the next 48 months, no matter what the circumstances are, I will still love you more and more.

I love you, Albert...

Natdem

April 16, 2012

Dear Natdem,

Its 1:43 am Monday and i cant put myself to sleep. Today or a few hours later I will begin to tackle one of the hardest points of my life. This setback has been the hardest for me and i literally cry in depression of the failure i have come to be. I dont know what will happen to me today or the next few days, but one thing is for sure whatever happens later will alter the course of my life significantly. But for now i want to tell you how i feel about us.

Each night as i struggle to bed, I would always remember the first time i heard your voice. You called me and you were having your graduation party off samal. I remember your voice laughing and another lady voice which i would later know to be josel. I would remember looking at your pics at friendster one by one clicking through the graduation pics taken to some pics you took from home. I would remember the first time i held your hands, the first meal we ate together, the first kiss you gave me. Everything with you is first for me, still today there are first things for me with you too. You are my first , my one and only. Nothing has preceded or followed you. I remember how simple our lives were going through the day, dreaming of things, and promising of things. It has been four years that have passed and i hate to say it that some of our dreams did not come true.

I may have failed some of my wishes and desires. I have failed you in so many ways and those things made you upset. But theres one thing i can assure you of, that tonight as i wrote this letter I have always loved you and will always love you. I may have nothing today, and i dont know what ill have tomorow. But I will not hesitate to give you my strength , my time, my effort, and my heart. As flimsy as they sound, they are the only things that I have with me. Im sorry. I love you Natdem and everything about you. I would not have my life any other way. I have realized that because i have lived so much in the future and so eager to live my goals, that four years have passed by through me quickly and i have taken for granted other important things.

I love you so much. Its not because that i have less feelings for you that i do not write anymore, but because I think i have already used up all words to explain and express what i feel for you. Time has been so quick and we are together now for so very long, yet i feel like i have known you yesterday and havent had enough of you. I love you i always will be here for you.

Albert