I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

February 14, 2013

Dear Sweetiepie,

This is my first letter for the year 2013. It’s “corny” because today is Valentine’s Day but I want you to know that even if today is just an ordinary day, I still intent to write you this letter.

I really want to thank you for the countless support and assistance you have given all these times. I’m feeling like I owe everything to you. We both know that my job right now is not that good and we both regret that I chose this opportunity. I would like you to know that even if I feel so depressed in countless times for this wrong decision, you are the strength that motivates me to wake up every day and go to work. I even work harder even if I do not feel any achievement or accomplishment when doing so. And that is all because of you. Everything I do is all because of you. It is all because you believe in me and you always assure me that everything will be alright. And I guess, I am still waiting for everything to fall on its right places for us to be able to somehow overcome this ordeal. Going to work every day is like going to hell every day. But I am surviving each and every day because I am looking forward to hear your voice at the end of the day that somehow alleviates the feeling of burning pain I am feeling everyday in hell. Even more when I think of seeing you at the end of the week that can make me feel like I am in heaven again. You are the best blessing I have ever received from my entire life and I will be eternally grateful for that.

Sweetiepie, I may not have the means now to buy you shoes, clothes, perfumes, and other apparels but I will do my best to give you the love that is worth more than a million times than those costly things. And someday, when I will have all the means to buy you those things, I assure you that I will give you the best of all those best things not because we are worldly but because you deserve more than those best things. I maybe just giving you my promats as my monthsarry gift but I promise you that behind those cheap promats is my unfailing love that will be with you no matter what the circumstances are.

I love you everyday sweetiepie and I am missing you each and every day. I really desire to be with you forever. I will be delighted to wake up every morning seeing your face, hearing your snore. Hehehe. I love you even more than these words can say.

Love,

Natdem

MARCH 2, 2012

2;00 am

Dear Natdem,

Im writing this down because i cant sleep thinking about things this morning. I took you to the airport because you have to go to manila for your masteral. I am so proud of you. I feel like the luckiest guy alive to be with you. As i walk towards the exit of the airport, passing along people along that steep slope to climb my foot heading towards the huge gray metal gates, I began feeling so small against the world, and people, cars, and their lives starting the day. I thought about my own self and im the poorest man without you. I feel ashamed of myself as I have literally nothing but dole-outs and my little savings with me. I think about schooling and my friends who have passed the bar, and i felt confused and lost that after you were gone i asked myself loudly , "what now?". I have no idea where to go, not only about getting home and where to get a jeep, but also with my life. I stand in the corner of the road and I resolve my predicament. I looked back at myself and realized that I have nothing to be complaining about but only to be grateful  Im so thankful that you love me so much. Your love is so strong that even just by looking at your eyes, the soul in me is calmed. By the nearness of you my worries disappear. By your smile I am willing to live a miserable life. Natdem, today as I write this down I have  nothing in my life but you. Thank you for loving me. For seeing the good in me when I even hate how i have become. I may not be the best person in the world for you. I may not even become a lawyer or a successful person. I may have not own a thing or become somebody. My dreams would not even become real. I may have even failed the most things in my life. But its okay, I am fine because i have you. You are my greatest accomplishment. You are my dream that has come true. I could say tonight that i have loved living my life only because you have been in it. Thank you and im sorry for the imperfections and shortness of myself. I love you.

Albert