09April09

12:21AM


The night seems so late yet I'm still here, staring at the door so awake, thinking and planning of something. I thought of the days passed. I marveled just by thinking what had happened to me this past 11 months. It has been so great. I feel complete. There's nothing I could ask for. And these are all because of one beautiful person. His name is Albert (the owner of this blog). Sounds common but it's not. It's the most exquisite name written upon the face of my earth. And the person who owns this name is my life, the love of my life, my everything. Though in the middle of dreariness, he seems to be the blaze that guides. He never left me yet he loves me more when I'm unlovable. He always makes me happy. I've never been this happy and blessed before. And I'm having this happiness for 11months now.

Albert, since you came into my life, I found the reason to be happy and be blessed. I found my resting place in your heart where no one can ever take me away. In your arms is the place where I feel so protected that no one can harm me. And this gives me hope to dream more and aspire more for in your caress I rely my strength. your love is my life.

If there are times that I hurt you, I would like to say I'm sorry. You know that I love you and I love you more and more each day. I'm sorry for every pain I've caused. We've gone through a lot. our relationship for 11 months is like having a relationship for 11 years. I'm so grateful that all this time, you are always with me. I'm so blessed that the man of every woman's dream is here with me, loving me, and empathizing every pain I'm going through. I'm thankful that you are with me and you are this someone whom I can claim "my own".

I'm writing you this letter to express you gratitude for making my life so beautiful. Thank you for making my world shines so bright. Thank you for completing my life. And you give everything I could ask for in just 11 months. I could not ask for more. I love you very much my darling sweetiepie. Happy 11 monthsary.


Love,
Natdem

December

Its been one year since i got home. A lot of things have changed. What remains constant is that i keep on missing her. hehe If only she knows, there isnt a day in my life since i met her that i have not missed her.
I hope i get a better luck next year. This year has been really bad, i wish itll get better next year.

November

I can’t believe that it’s almost a year since I have been home. It doesn’t feel that way, and its just surreal how time is so insignificant today. We have so much things to do, yet we have so little time to do them. I remember this day back in Baguio, it was cold and gloomy just like any normal day there. I literally spent the whole day on the phone taking care of sick people. One guy was having hemorrhoids, and another lady was having weird back pains. I couldn’t stop thinking about home. It was as if home is a weird word, its like I would never reach to the point of getting there. Yet, I had so many plans in my thoughts, so many expectations, so many ambitions, and so many dreams to materialize them.
And then I went home. Nothing that I have ever planned, or did I ever even think of came true. My expectations were all wrong, and I could not understand it even though I have believed I have lowered them to the extreme. Hehe
I watched a talk just the other week. The guy who spoke told about life changing decisions. I never thought that by one single choice your whole life can turn around. Its like choosing two unknown roads, and you’re at the crosspoint. If you take left, you know that it would be a smooth walk down to where you’re going, but you take the bumpy, hard right just because it makes you happy. And then you start thinking what makes you really happy? Are you happy when you’re rested? Are you happy because you’re comfortable? Or would that kind of happiness ever make you a better person. I remember the words of the speaker during the talk I mentioned above as he quoted a Chinese maxim. He said, " a gem would never shine without friction". I pondered over those words, and they mean something to me.
Im grateful for all my trials and problems. Along the way I will be getting more Im sure, maybe some of them will be life changing too. But for whatever its worth, I know that when we get over those problems, we become better persons inch by inch. When we make mistakes, we learn a lesson the very hard way, but we still live to learn that lesson.
I had my own life changing decision. I think that’s the only decision that I ever did that I really decided it by my own. I’m grateful that I have decided to be with her. The roads maybe bumpy and the walk is sometimes hard. But because of all those friction, I have learned that love goes beyond what is comfortable. Love goes beyond not only when were happy, or rich, or clean, or beautiful or when were smiling. Love is also hard, and painful, tiring, full of tears, heartbreaking, and poor. The best thing I think that ive learned from this decision, is that I love her more when she is ugly, or when were poor, or when everything is hard around us, than when everything is well.
My life has changed since last year, she has changed my life and I could never repay her for the happiness she brings to me. It occurred to me that maybe I didn’t fail with my plans, just as she has been unexpected, maybe I will get more unexpected plans. As much as God has given her to me, maybe God will give me a better path to walk.
I wouldn’t be afraid to walk no matter how hard the road He is going to give me , as long as I am walking it with her.